I Want the Truth!
Scene: Fade in to a stately looking lecture hall. Rain is pounding the windows and thunder crashes
sporadically.
| professor: |
...you, Mr....um...Smyth? Can you tell me what Rousseau was getting at
in the readings? |
| student: |
Well sir, I didn't get quite that far in the — |
| professor: |
Dammit! I'm tired of your excuses. Everyday you walk into this
classroom sleepy-eyed and unprepared. Not once have you come up anything
that even remotely resembled an answer. |
| student: |
You want answers? |
| professor: |
I think I'm entitled to one. |
| student: |
You want answers?! |
| professor: |
I want the truth! |
| student: |
You can't handle the truth!! (dramatic pause) Sir, we live in a
world that has parties, and these parties have to be attended by men
with cups. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Mr. Teaching Assistant? I have a
greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You read your
little textbooks and you curse the fraternities. You have that luxury;
you have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that my partying, while
grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. We use words like
"keg-stand", "beer-bong", "shotgun." We
use these words as the backbone of a life spent drinking something. You
use them as a punchline. I have neither the time, nor the inclination to
explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps underneath the blanket of
the inebriation that I provide, and then questions the very manner in
which I provide it. I'd rather you said "thank you" and went on your way.
Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a mug and start to chug. Either way, I
don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to! |
| professor: |
Did you fail to do the work? |
| student: |
I did my job, I'd do it — |
| professor: |
DID YOU FAIL TO DO THE WORK? |
| student: |
YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT I DID! |
If you have a favorite joke, please send
it to me. I'd be happy to post it on my site.
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